I wanted to open with a super insightful R Kelly quote (aka some ridiculous song lyrics) but I didn’t. Making public statements just isn’t my thing; I’m just not that cool. So here we are typical Lauren fashion 4 weeks later and still finishing this post. Obviously, 2015 won’t be everything I hoped and dreamed……… Or will it?
Won’t have a few items on my previous checklist, but when God gives you no choice but to remove them, you realize the others are pretty important. Like babies and football games- watching my daughter do gymnastics and doing cannon balls all summer. God is good and all of his ways are perfect.
I suffered a tear in my left adductor a few weeks before the open. I was in crazy pain for a few days but showed up the next day to train. Which meant one legged burpees and single unders that ended in a temper tantrum. So I worked around it for the weeks leading into the open. Which was brutal might I add, but only the people close to me did I whine and complain to….I didn’t feel the need to make a public announcement because let’s face it- I’m not Madonna and I don’t make public announcements. So I did the open wods enough times to get a decent score, along with a whole lotta resting. After the open I could perform most movements at about 80%- meaning lifts and intensity. But running seemed to cause a lot of pain. I had two choices, call off my season or train through it and see what happened. So I laced up my boots and decided it was time to shave my head and go into GI Jane mode. (It’s not cute) there’s a lot of growling and aggressive door closing at home. But it was time to train for regionals, so train for regionals we did! …… Well sorta.
As the date approached I knew I wasn’t going to be able to compete to the best of my ability, but I wanted to at least try. So on came the weekend and that usual awesomeness that surrounds it. Getting to see friends, meeting amazing people, being able to rep the brands I believe in, and putting myself in front of a lot of people in hopes to be an example of everything I’ve worked hard for and stand for. I love you people, those of you that offer encouragement, kind words, believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself, and the occasional dude making creepy comments you guys are the best!! I enjoy the experience whole heartedly and hope I have the privilege of being apart of it at least a few more times. [[Sappy moment ends]] So then came game day 1 and then 2, running is really the one thing that blows it up and go figure we had to run this year! Who knew Dave would find newer and more innovative ways to torture us. Pain was bad about 3/4 mile in then the rest of the workout was just terrible. I thought about coming off the floor before the time cap…. But I knew I danced with that fine line between giving up and really needing to stop. So I decided that I was going to move myself through the workout at a cautious rate….. Which felt like snail pace in a regionals setting.
So that was that. Decision was made walking off the floor. I knew I was risking a new injury if I didn’t bow out gracefully. I was abruptly reminded of my back injury in 2012 and not being able to pick my baby up out of the bathtub. I swore I would never put myself in a position to not be able to be a mom again. And do mom things. Like run and jump and carry your babies. Even when they’re 9 and 5′ tall and 90 lbs. good grief that kids big. Even then. I want to be strong in a different sense. It’s not functional anymore when you can’t functionally move.
Am I disappointed? Well yah. Is it hard to watch my friends do amazing right now in the sport? In ways. Not because I am not happy for them, but because I wish I was sharing it with them.
So I’ve decided tonight I’m just going to have to be ok for now. Ok with not being at the top of my game. Ok with working backwards……Again. Ok with reinventing and recreating myself. Ok with not being able to lift heavy……Again. Ok with boring rehab stuff. All of the accessory work. All of the time.
But it has become so prevalent to me that Gods plan is so much bigger than mine. I am loving life, enjoying my kids, playing catch up, training in different ways, and doing some figuring out of Life. Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers, and sweet encouragement!! You know who you are!!
For more posts by Lauren Brooks please visit her blog http://laurenbrooksathletics.com/
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